Alright so we’ve got one Pip card done, one major Arcana done now the only thing really left is to do a court card! Enter the Queen of Wands!

One of the things I knew going into this deck was that I didn’t really want to rely on drawing people to explain everything. I feel like there’s only so many ways you can draw Someone as a King of Something or being stabbed in the back in the 10 of Swords. I still wanted to draw something that felt symbolic and representative of the cards – especially the court cards – which is where I fell on the idea of using animals.

For the Queen of Wands, I went with probably the most obvious and honestly predictable animal: The Peacock. Even the the Peacocks that we know as being absolutely extra are the males, I feel like when I think of the Queen of Wands, I think of someone who is just that extra. Someone who is willing to walk into whatever space they’re in and take up room. Someone who is completely unapologetic in how they’re seen, how they show up and how they’re perceived – even if it makes other people uncomfortable.

It’s interesting because out of all the court cards, the Queen of Wands was always the one I saw myself the least in. To be honest, I feel like for a very long time, I was able to relate more to the Queen of Wands in reverse than upright which is probably why she existed in my blind spot for a lot of my time doing tarot readings. Even if I have a tendency to be loud, I definitely was someone who shied away from taking up space and more often than not – especially in person – I’d try and find the easiest way to roll out of a social situation as soon and quietly as feasibly possible (unless alcohol was involved in which case I will just do so incredibly loudly). This tendency towards fading into the background, however, also made me deeply insecure to the point that I can openly admit that it gave me a bit of a narcissism streak that looking back on was just rooted in poor stupid thinking and reasoning.

I mean I can’t fault that version of myself but really at the end of the day, that narcissism that was driving a lot of my thinking was “Why is no one paying attention to me when I’m literally trying my hardest to fade into the background and not be seen?”

Over the last several years – specifically ever since I entered my 30s – I just… stopped giving a shit? And weirdly over the last handful of years – especially over the last 5 or so years, suddenly the Queen of Wands was popping up in my tarot readings to the point that I couldn’t really ignore her anymore (like a real Queen of Wands is expecting of everybody).

Her presence over this time helped remind me that being tapped into that Queen of Wands energy isn’t inherently about finding an audience that gives you an endless see of praise. In fact, that’s something that I’d associate more with the reverse placement than the upright one. Instead, I started seeing her as almost calling out to me to remember that I have something to offer – especially creatively.

This also coincided with me working with my Lilith in my birth chart which no, I won’t be divulging in any way. But the general take away from working with that part of me personally was just me taking the time to sit myself down and really understand why I always found myself in these ego based power struggles. Why did I constantly find myself so needy? Why did I constantly find myself in a position where I wanted to be seen yet was actively trying to shy away? Why was there such an aggressive push/pull dynamic when it came to me as a person and my own sense of humanity?

During my time meditating with her, this is when the idea for the current card and description came in:

What is life but a blank canvas, waiting for its paint? To create the inspiring image you’d like to share, you must be tune with a deeper, primal form of you. One that knows no limits, that bathes in colors, and understands what’s needed to feed the fire of your own Will. The Queen of Wands asks you to define what you see as possible. To reevaluate your relationship to potential, and to understand that to go where you need to go, and achieve what you hope to achieve, you must first cater to the hearth within.

And honestly? The answer just turned out that my environments were constantly threatening me in a way that called for me to hide away and to avoid being seen. That part of me that wanted to be recognized knew that deep down, I am something. Not in the way that it means I’m meant to be someone big and important, but something that is alive, and has wants and needs that are not only being ignored but are perpetually under threat daily.

I know this isn’t the two of wands (which I honestly haven’t figured out what it’s going to be, so sorry if this at all seems misleading), but I felt like I needed to still draw two wands on the card as a perpetual reminder that life is – at the end of the day – about choices. Even when you think your back is against the wall, there’s still a decision that you can end up making: A choice to continue to live and continue to Be.

I also wanted to the peacock clearly flying towards the crown as a reminder that when you choose to be You – the real, true and authentic version of you – you are able to step into your own authority. One that by design of you choosing to be yourself authentically can inspire others to do the same and honestly, what is more Queenly for a Queen of Wands than to remind everyone of their own hidden ferocity by embracing that aspect of themselves in every capacity?

While I haven’t figured out how we’ll be handling the reversed meanings, I do hope that if it shows up reversed in a reading, people will see it as a warning to not forget the power that comes with themselves. If you chase after a crown that can only exist through self-acceptance, you’re doing nothing but chasing after your own downfall and honestly truly, that’s not particularly Queenly in any capacity.

This will probably be the last one you’ll see of this deck for a minute because I think there’s just a bit more planning we need to be doing. BUT… Technically speaking, we’ve got enough cards to do a tarot reading, so if anyone wanted to know how I’d see these three cards drawn in a reading in the deck, it’d probably be something akin to:

6 of Wands + The Tower + Queen of Wands

So you’ve gotten a chance to pull back from competition and meditate with yourself. That means that you’ve been given a chance to destroy any previous perceptions of what it means for you to even compete. During that time, it should have helped you see that the idea of competing is nothing but a manufactured idea that’s either been conditioned or beaten into you to believe that you need to do that in order to step into your power. But the honest answer is that you also got the chance to see that you’re pretty god damn amazing, so why not see that as the real victory instead of a stupid fucking trophy?

And uh… yeah? That’s basically how I hope people are able to find themselves doing tarot readings with the Trailblazer tarot. Also no, these were not pre-planned in order. I did these three because I needed to have an idea of what each kind of card might look like and these three ended up being the ones that we ended up picking. Sometimes things just be like that yo and I’m not complaining.

Until next time.

~ Dre