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“Explain it back to me to make sure you understood everything.” 

The sound of Bula’s voice echoed in Isteen’s mind every morning ever since she was brought back. She couldn’t tell if it was because being brought back from The Dead was so traumatic that everything was forever seared into her memory or if it was a natural result of Bula being a Witch. Either way, it proved to be useful as she went through the process of piecing herself together again. Even though she was warned, the experience of being Numbed was not something she could properly be prepared for. It wasn’t just a numbness, it was a sheer indifference towards everything that defined the bounds of existence.

Isteen assumed it would be similar to the stretch of time before she chose to die to begin with: The kind of numbness that comes when you’re depressed and suicidal when you’re emptied out waiting for some sense of meaning or relief. But this was a sincere desensitization to Life and everything that defined Life itself where it wasn’t an emptiness that was felt, but a lack of understanding over what Life even needs.

Every basic thing that she would have considered natural was suddenly confusing to wrap her mind around. Eating became a process that her body demanded yet her soul was perplexed by. Sleeping was akin to simply being turned off for the day, then being turned back on which was the more jarring thing for her to experience since, as it turns out, once you’ve died you simply assume that closing your eyes means you’ll never know what it means to wake up again.

Life is… strange. Isteen began to conclude. Isn’t it weird that we’re all walking on this planet day in and day out? Going through the motions until we die and are inevitably replaced by new life? What is even the point of –

“Two… Never question Life… at least not for the first seventy two hours.” Isteen repeated to herself to break up her train of thought. She groaned as she rubbed her head gently, wondering whether or not she truly regretted this decision. She didn’t realize that there was so much attachment that came with Existing. It was this realization that made her appreciate the point of being a baby. She couldn’t help but assume that you learn how to become attached at an early enough age where there’s less of a reason to question it. You’re born into this world with no attachment while everything is attached to you…She thought to herself. …Then you get attached to the world before you learn its truths… She cursed under her breath,Babies really have it easy.

If there was one thing she was grateful for, however, it was Bula and her bluntness. She really made no attempt to sugar coat how uncomfortable this process would be.

“This is the biggest thing you will have ever sacrificed.” Bula said as she pinched Isteen as hard as possible on her left arm as she began to regain consciousness. She didn’t care for how much Isteen yelled and pleaded at her to stop with what felt like torture. “Remember this pain,” Bula said sternly as she pinched her again, “Remember this brutality because if I find you doing this again, this is a decision you’ll be regretting.”

Again… Isteen scoffed. Yeah, you can bet this was something that will happen one time and one time only.

Piecing Yourself Back Together was a seemingly simple process, though Isteen found the naming to be misleading as it really seemed more like strict rules to follow than any actual piecing of anything back together. There were only three things you needed to be mindful of for the first Seventy Two hours of you being brought back.

1. Eat and Sleep. Yes. Really. Dying makes you detached from your corporeal form which gives you less of a reason to actually care about what it needs. The eating was something Isteen could understand but the apathy towards sleep was truly unexpected until she had to literally find ways to consciously convince herself to go to sleep.
2. Never Question Life. It does nothing but feed the detachment which encourages you to be….careless towards your existence.
3. Remember How It Feels to Be Happy. This was something that surprised Isteen, and while this seemed to be the most positive one of the list, the severity that came with Bula’s explanation gave it by far the most important priority.

“Life is many things,” Bula explained, “But the one thing it is – without question – is the ability to experience and feel joy.” She said as she patted Isteen’s back to help her remember how to breathe, “If you lose that then you’re as good as dead.”

“Fair enough.” Isteen said between coughs. Fair enough.

Those first two days were jarring in this respect. Isteen didn’t realize just how many things gave her joy that she had taken for granted. She even had a strange moment of a butterfly landing on her nose and was caught off guard by the sound of her giggles. Playing in her mother’s garden was always her favorite thing when she was little. Running amongst all the little bugs – especially the butterflies – was always such a simple point of joy.

She really wasn’t one to try and believe in this kind of thing but she couldn’t help but feel like this was a sign. From who or for what reason, she didn’t know, but she couldn’t help but feel like someone – or something – was saying “I’m glad to see you back home.”

The thought began to bring tears to her eyes which startled the butterfly, causing it to fly away. That’s fine, Isteen thought to herself, Thank you for your time and company anyway.

When the seventy-two hours had passed, Bula and Harold came by to make one last visit.

“Well, she’s not dead.” Harold remarked as Isteen opened her apartment door to let them in. “So good job on that one.” he said, quietly chuckling until it was interrupted by a gentle bonk on the side of his skull by Bula’s staff.

It was extremely rare that Bula did these rituals but they always made her antsy and nervous. Magic was literally a part of her life. So was Death. So was Life. But it was the mixture of all three into one that gave her the worst anxiety to confront. There are just far too many ways to make mistakes and create problems to account for and that was truly the most humbling thing to confront with something that requires so much authority and control.

Depending on the state of the Corporeal Form, there can be changes to it once it has been brought back… but there can also be none at all. “So please don’t go into this thinking that it will make anything… go away.” Bula had said as she looked towards Isteen’s wheelchair.

“I’m not.” Isteen muttered as she laid down into the Death Spring. “It’s got nothing to do with it, really.”

“Hrm.” Bula made a mental note of that as she began the ritual.

For the first two days, Isteen never even bothered with walking, but for some reason on that third day, she decided to give it a try… And she could. 

Mostly.

She was no doctor of medicine so she couldn’t provide a clear prognosis but she didn’t need to study it to tell that there was something very much wrong with her left leg. Standing was okay and walking was feasible with a limp, but running was something that immediately led her to lose balance and control causing her to land flat on her face in the middle of her apartment.

“I’m definitely not dead.” Isteen said as her guests entered her apartment. “But I am a bit… different.”

The Witch and her Companion gasped at the sight of her standing. She had found an old unused lamp in her apartment that she was using as a makeshift cane to move around.

“That IS…” Bula said, eyeing her, “Different.”

The both of them watched Isteen as she closed the door and moved back towards her kitchen table as she usually did when they came to do their check-ins. Bula couldn’t help but notice how almost bored she seemed at the idea of walking again. Typically for this kind of change, people are overjoyed but for Isteen, it really didn’t seem like it meant anything. She really must have accepted that as her life. Bula thought to herself. That’s…might take some adjusting.

This final visit was spent with Harold doing a lot of questioning and Bula running a number of final physical tests to check for her Attachment. It lasted the whole day but the two of them concluded that everything went rather successfully. Isteen was able to recount her memories from before she Died very easily. She was expressive, had an appetite and even got tired by the time Harold and Bula left.

Isteen wasn’t prepared for the level of questioning and testing that went into this process but she couldn’t help but appreciate how thorough Bula turned out to be. At times it reminded her of her Alchemical classes with all of her testing and re-testing and re-re-testing. Everything really has some kind of science to it, doesn’t it? Isteen thought to herself, Maybe there is some kind of method to all of this madness.

This being Life.

As her visitors collected their things before leaving, Harold had one final question he needed to ask.

“Now that you’re back in the land of the living, what’s your first task of business you’re going to tend to?”

“Hm.” Isteen pursed her lips in thought. “I’m not sure.” She shrugged.

As strange as it was, this kind of response was a good thing. Life and Living rarely came with some clear blueprint to follow, so being unsure of where to begin was par for the course of becoming reattached.

“Good enough for you?” Bula asked her Companion.

“Good enough for me.” He nodded.

“Then we’ll be off then.” The Witch said, putting on her coat and collecting her staff.

“Thank you again.” Isteen said as she walked them to her door. “Really. I’m grateful.”

“We know.” Harold remarked.

“Fair enough.”

As the three parted ways, Isteen watched as her visitors began to disappear down the stairwell.

Then… she had a thought.

“Wait!” She shouted as she ran back out of her apartment to get their attention. “I know what I’m going to do!”

Harold and Bula looked at each other from the floor beneath her. It wasn’t really their business but they couldn’t help but be curious.

“And that is?” Bula shouted back.

“I think…” Isteen slowly began to smile, “I think… I’m going to get my revenge.”

The Witch and her Companion eyed each other. This decision was going to prove itself to be interesting indeed.

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

Plotting revenge was not the kind of task she thought it’d be. She went through several different options but none of them were satisfactory. It wasn’t until she was walking one day after her Physical Therapy appointment that she came across a flyer by one of the smaller colleges in the city. That Classmate was going to be doing a presentation… and from the looks of it, it was a truly terrible idea.

As Isteen quickly ripped it off the wall to take home with her, she couldn’t help but feel completely overwhelmed with a sincere sense of joy.

The presentation the Classmate was set to do was on an incredibly volatile invention that they only briefly studied in their courses. Their professor at the time always fretted when he brought it up – nervously shifting his glasses and wringing his hands whenever it was mentioned. It was an invention that the Alchemical community as a whole found divisive.

This invention – only known as The Regulator – was meant to find an effective way to have Raw Crude Magic be used as fuel.

For most of Azraeém’s developed history, Magic operated as the primary source of power that helped much of the world jump from relying purely on fire – be it via Torchlight, steam or gunpowder – to suddenly having an easy and relatively safe means to have light accessible everywhere. It also became an incredibly useful tool that allowed individuals everywhere to begin exploring all of the far reaches of Azraeém, oftentimes finding a personal means to apply it in their adventures that would later be developed as Pursuits for people to study and take part in. 

It was impressive how the increase of the bleed of Magic brought out the creativity of the people of Azraeém, giving them true freedom to take control over their day to day lives so that they no longer had to rely on other means to make that a possibility. 

This increase of access wasn’t only used for these simple means. The increase of access opened up the minds of many individuals as to what was truly possible, leading towards the development and construction of massive structures – otherwise known as Circuitries – to better capitalize off of the magic already available. Even if these structures proved to be disruptive to those with sensitivities to Concocted Magic, their presence helped to better establish widespread networks across the entirety of the continent to better keep everyone connected and improve the lives of many even if it was at the expense of the comfort of few.

However, that increase in Power proved not to be enough.

The invention of the Regulator came from a small collection of minds within the Alchemical Community who didn’t want to simply have structures that could be used to access the magic that was already available – they wanted to build this Regulator to use the Raw and wildly Volatile Magic that was bleeding from the fissures that were forming all over Azraeém.

The magic from these cracks were proven to have an adverse effect on their environment. Even wildlife found itself mutated by its presence with any living creature – be they Bipedal or Animalic – eventually finding themselves mutated due to high exposure and transformed into tormented creatures that the world would widely refer to as Maleffected.

These Alchemists believed that – similar to Circuitry – the people of Azraeém could build structures near these fissures to use as fuel that could add even more complex ways for magic to improve the lives of Azraeém in ways they had never previously considered. These Regulators could siphon Magic from the fissures, eventually allowing it to be placed into contraptions that they called Batteries that would be distributed across Azraeém so that all could use the Raw Magic for their own personal means.

Everything in the world could get bigger.

Everything in the world could have access to endless power.

Everyone and everything in the world – with the use of this simple fuel – could achieve true independence.

Much of their proposal left many people – Alchemists and non-Alchemists alike – in shock. The world had made great strides towards integration and what was being proposed felt similar to the same paranoia that began to form leading up to The Old War that inevitably broke up many nation lines that many speculated led to the last Great Calamity.

There was more than enough Magic for everyone and no one could understand the need to tap into the Raw magic bleeding from these fissures that many had found reason to believe were a warning sign of bad things to come.

These Alchemists went back to their drawing boards and while they had come up with many prototypes, none of them were successful in truly containing the amount of power that was being made available for this volatile and rich fuel. Eventually this was something put aside not only due to the obstacles they faced but also caused by the growing pressures within the Alchemical Community to cease dubious and questionable operations immediately.

No one – as ambitious as it might be – had managed to successfully find a way to make this kind of leap.

That was until this Classmate supposedly.

Isteen sat in her kitchen every morning with her cup of tea and her pet parakeet Tany who would join her when and as she felt like it as Isteen sat combing through her previous studies and current publishings around this invention.

Even though it had been 5 years since she covered this in her studies, it was clear that this was still a contentious point of discussion within the modern Alchemical community. The general consensus was that there were far too many variables to consider and far too many ways for it to cause potentially even bigger long term effects for this to be something the world should even begin to consider relying on extensively.

Every page turned left Isteen in further confusion. There were plenty of questions that were simply waiting to be answered in the world of Alchemy that this Classmate could have pursued and they decided on… This? 

By the time it came to be the day of the presentation, Isteen couldn’t help but feel speechless. “Is she really that stupid?” She’d asked Tany, “Is she really that dumb?”

Tany would simply munch on a seed in disinterest to her questions which to Isteen meant that she may be making this more complicated than was needed.

A Bad Idea was – regardless of how it may seem – still a Bad Idea … but, Isteen found herself concluding, it was also a potential opportunity to be taken advantage of.

“It wouldn’t really be revenge if I just sat back and did nothing, would it?”

This was the comment that finally earned an inquisitive chirp in response. “Fair enough,” Isteen said quietly. “Fair enough.”

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

The plan was…. 

Well, there wasn’t really a plan since Isteen had no idea what was actually happening. That’s why step one eventually became simply arriving early to get a peak at things.

To her surprise, this miniature Regulator was set up already in the lecture hall behind an easily accessible glass wall with a large vessel beside it that Isteen could only assume would be filled with Raw Magic pulled from the Fissure one country over. She had never personally visited it (for a number of reasons – specifically due to the Human half of her lineage) but unless this Classmate was planning on traveling a week away for the next closest one, that was likely her best bet.

She also found herself thrown by how the campus guides seemed to encourage anyone visiting that day to take a closer look at everything. This was convenient for her as all this meant was that if there was something to be used to her advantage, then she’d simply need to wait for the lecture hall to clear out to get a closer look at everything without interruption.

It was an hour or so before the lecture around the locally considered Lunch Time that she was finally able to do so. The closer she got to it, the more she couldn’t deny that it was, in fact, impressive. The Regulators that were originally proposed were at least as tall as your average building that you’d find in the most actively populated areas, while this one was about as tall and as wide as a kitchen table. It had all the bits and bobs that she could loosely recognize and much of the design seemed to fall in alignment with a lot of the schematics that she had seen previously but still, there was one very important question that needed answering: Did it work?

There were a few weaknesses that she could see but even Isteen knew well enough to not play with things she didn’t fully understand which admittedly left her frustrated by everything. How the hell is she supposed to get her revenge on something she did not quite understand?

Then she noticed something.

As she stood at the front of the lecture hall, she was able to get a vague idea of how this lecture would likely go. With how everything was written with a large focus on the area surrounding the Regulator, she was able to get a relatively clear idea of where this Classmate would spend most of her lecture standing. Isteen took a step back and tried to imagine what would likely be said following the rhythm of the notes on the chalkboard until she found herself standing by what seemed to be a specially made Switch to turn the invention on at what she could only assume would be during some dramatic moment to better receive applause. 

This was also when she noticed after taking a closer look that there was a peculiar looking valve that – if undone just enough – could potentially unleash a very sharp and precise stream of Magic in a specific direction that was not necessarily intended.

Then she realized exactly where she was standing.

If she was right, then when the valve was loosened and the magic successfully unleashed, then the unintended direction of the energy would hit her classmate in her left leg.

The same one that Isteen found had been weakened aggressively ever since she came back to Life.

Wouldn’t that be funny? Isteen thought. Wouldn’t that be drôle?

And then, with very little hesitation, she did a gentle twist on the valve to loosen it ever so slightly to see just what might end up happening.

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

As much as Isteen had pieced herself back together, the thing she couldn’t help but notice was that while she had become reattached to her own existence, she felt a bit less attached to the existence of others.

That’s… different. She thought to herself quietly in the lecture hall. If she had the privilege of speaking to herself before all of this had happened, she couldn’t help but feel like she would look at herself in horror. What exactly had she become after everything she had gone through? She couldn’t help imagining herself asking, Was this whole pursuit of Life after Death truly worth it?

With the presentation almost fifteen minutes away, the lecture hall began to quickly fill before she could begin formulating any kind of legitimate response. The only answer she could conclude was simply “It’s complicated.” before the seats all around her and beside her began to fill and the conversation needed to be cut short.

Even with what she was planning, Isteen couldn’t help but be impressed by just how much the lecture hall had filled in. After trying to do a quick seat count, she could roughly estimate that the hall could see well over 200 and even that wasn’t enough, causing everyone find anywhere they could fit be it by sitting on the steps, standing in the back or whatever other place they could squeeze themselves to get a better view of what would be happening.

Shortly before the lights in the hall cut, Isteen suddenly realized that she never accounted for the possibility that this could impact everyone in the lecture hall which did make her slightly uncomfortable as she wasn’t looking to go through the process of dying for a second time (at least not this quickly). Possibly naively, she began to quietly lower herself into her seat in hopes that it would better protect her.

She decided to cross her fingers as an added protective measure. 

When it was time for the lecture to begin, there was a rousing applause throughout the entire hall. Everyone who was able to stand quickly leapt from their position to better celebrate her Classmate’s entrance which Isteen couldn’t be bothered to try for many reasons independent of her weakened leg. The only thing she really wanted to know was whether or not she’d get her revenge.

That.

Was.

It.

Luckily for Isteen and her growing impatience for the cheering, that outcome wasn’t very far behind. To her surprise, the lecture didn’t even begin with a lecture. The Classmate and her assistants simply finished setting up The Regulator with – what Isteen couldn’t help but assume to be her intention – what was likely a show of force and competency which she couldn’t help but roll her eyes over.

After much thinking and reflecting on Isteen’s part, she was able to conclude that this was why the Classmate always struggled so much in their courses. She was always quick to start doing things before their professors could even finish their lectures and she’d always find herself somehow shocked whenever things didn’t pan out the way she arrogantly thought they would.

Then, after a gentle spike of anxiety, Isteen realized that it really was best to try and focus on quieting her thoughts. If this was going to work – truly work – then she really needed to make sure that there was no warning… just like Isteen was robbed that day she almost ended up dying.

Without giving so much as a proper introduction to the invention and what they were all there for, the Classmate flashed a large smile after a dramatic bow before quickly flipping the switch, causing the hall to be filled with a bright blue light and a loud buzz.

There was a brief moment of silence before everyone heard a loud blood curdling shriek, then a thud, and then the sound of a great deal of scrambling before one of the Doctoral Alchemists was able to turn the Regulator off.

When the bright light subsided and everyone’s eyes were able to adjust and finally see everything more clearly, the entire lecture hall was left completely stunned – especially Isteen. The Classmate’s left leg had been completely severed, leaving the area around her completely covered in blood that wouldn’t stop spouting from the massive yet clean wound. Isteen sat back to look around at the horrified shock on everyone’s face as she laid there crying and screaming over what had happened. Is no one going to do anything? Isteen thought to herself. Is it really going to be on me? 

After a quiet yet exasperated sigh, Isteen finally found a reason for standing. “Someone call a medic!” Isteen yelled, acting as a formal signal for everyone to officially begin moving to deal with the tragic incident that they had just witnessed.

As the chaos unraveled in the hall, Isteen tried her best to keep out of sight and out of everyone’s way as they rushed to at least try and slow the bleeding. The events that day made headlines in all the local papers which made Isteen chuckle quietly since she was certain that this was exactly what the Classmate was hoping for… just in a way that would be far more impressive and far less humbling than it turned out to be.

Well, Isteen thought to herself as she closed the newspaper a few days after, I wasn’t looking to get stabbed in the back either so I guess neither of us have gotten what we were hoping for.

Tany cheeped seemingly in agreement, leaving Isteen speechless over whether or not she could hear what she was thinking.

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

It had been about a week since The Event before the chaos around the ordeal had finally begun to die down, leaving the Alchemical World to begin to move forward as it does as usual. This had caused a number of regulations to be put in place, especially towards anyone’s ability to even consider working with Regulators from that point forward which Isteen couldn’t help but feel like was a silver lining in the face of everything that had happened.

After a bit of meditation, she didn’t really know why she felt the need to but eventually she decided to pay that Classmate a visit in the hospital with a card in hand. It had taken a few days for her to figure out what to write but with everything she had just done, she felt as though writing anything more than “My condolences.” could be seen as a tad bit pathological and insincere.

When she walked into her hospital room, the Classmate’s left leg was elevated in the air in plain view, wrapped in bandages but luckily with no sign of active bleeding. It’s not that Isteen was expecting to be happy but she was surprised at how displeased it left her feeling.

This isn’t what I was really wanting, was it? She thought to herself as she left the card in the pile of gifts that burdened the opening side to her guest room. This really isn’t going to keep me happy.

It wasn’t until after she left the hospital that she realized that those thoughts might, in some way, be potentially incriminating.

Oh, well. She thought as she was leaving. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see where that leads.